Stress Beaters.
She was delighted, but then frowned and said, 'No, I can't - that will interfere with making tea for the family.' Considering her sons were both in their late teens and her husband was an intelligent man, I pointed out they were hardly likely to starve if she was away from the house for a few hours. After much deliberating, she agreed to attend and thoroughly enjoyed herself— although I did not realize what I had started.
After two decades of being a slave to routine, Anne suddenly found how liberating it was to break free occasionally. She gradually began to play tennis more regularly, to let her sons get their own meals and to do the housework when necessary, rather than at set times as she had always done without thinking. She did not abandon her routine, but simply made it more flexible, with the result that she felt much more relaxed.
Look at your routine and ask yourself why it is like it is. Introduce changes into it as treats for yourself as often as you can. Think of your day as flexible rather than fixed, and use that flexibility to reduce your stress.
Vary your routine. This can be as simple as travelling to work along a different route, or wearing bright red socks. Even the smallest change can pay dividends.
126

Let a conversation flow
We all know how frustrating it is when people we talk to don't let us finish what we are saying. This is a common accusation - often justified — levelled at doctors by patients, who say, 'I came out of his surgery without getting a chance to say what I was worried about.' The doctor is probably unaware of his patient's concerns and carries on in the same manner. The result is a deeply dissatisfied patient and a waste of time on both sides.
How often do we have conversations in the office, at home, or in the pub, when we feel left out in some way, despite saying a lot? Probably frequently, because people often forget that conversation has two parts to it — talking and listening. Being good at only one does not always result in productive discussions.
To overcome this, think of your next conversation as a river. The point is to keep the river flowing as smoothly as you can. It is fine to have white water, calm water and temporary pauses, but it should never stop flowing. Every time you speak or interrupt, you are building a dam in the river. This is removed when you stop talking and the river begins to flow again. However if you, or the person you are talking to, do all the talking, the dam remains and the river stops flowing. This is a sign of a conversation that is too onesided. In the same way, constant interruptions stop the river flowing smoothly, which is what you are aiming for.
Just as a river gets to its destination more quickly if it is allowed to flow fast and free, you get more out of a conversation if you learn to listen more, interrupt less and let the other person say what they want to say. It sounds so obvious, yet many problems stem from poor communication. People who feel they are able to say what they want to, and get a constructive response in return, not only feel good but also will tell you what is bothering them. Yet if
127