Listen, listen, listen
..Crisis Management
if what they hear is not to their liking, and they give people the time to think and collect their thoughts if needed.
Before patting yourself on the back at being one of life's natural listeners, ask yourself the following questions:

Still think you are a good listener? By relaxing and listening better, you will help other people to feel more relaxed with you and to slow down too. People who do not feel they are competing for your attention are more likely to have frank and honest conversations with you. Remember that everyone likes to talk to a good listener.

What do most patients want from their doctor? Fantastic medical knowledge, luxurious surroundings, the latest medical technology? No. They want their doctor to do one thing - to listen. Unfortunately, many doctors fail to do this, with the result that many consultations are unsatisfactory on both sides.There is sometimes no fault here - the pressure of time on rushed doctors and patients -who want to spend an hour discussing life's problems do not sit easily together - but most of the time listening is a forgotten art. I was once told the best way to learn what is wrong with a patient is, for the first 60 seconds of any consultation, shut your mouth and open your ears. This does not always apply - if someone comes in to me and says, 'Well, what do the tests show?' I am not going to spend the next minute looking at them in silence. It is, however, a very good tip to remember when you want actually to hear what someone is saying to you.
When I was growing up my father worked as a Samaritan, taking calls from despairing and suicidal people. I vividly remember as a ymall boy watching him one evening when he took such a call, and having to find my mother to ask, 'Why isn't Daddy saying anything?' I forget her response, but when I mentioned this to him many years later he smiled and said the hardest thing about that job was learning to bite your tongue and say absolutely nothing, sometimes when the caller was also silent for minutes at a time.
The secret of being a good listener is to put yourself in the place of the other person. People who are forceful or aggressive are usually dreadful listeners - almost to the point of selective deafness. Good listeners encourage people to tell their story in their own words and in their own time, letting them know they have their undivided attention. They do not interrupt or pass judgement, even

Have you ever made a judgement about someone simply because of how they look or dress?
Have you ever interrupted someone to tell them you have had a similar experience to theirs, only worse?
Do you finish sentences for people?
Do you look over people's shoulders, or at your watch, when talking to them?
Have you ever heard yourself say you understand their problem while they are still explaining what it is?
We are all appalling listeners. Listening is a real skill and to be good at it you need to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Focus on the words they are using as well as non-verbal clues and put your own thoughts to one side.

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