.Crisis Management

Break your negative thinking
Negative thinkers are some of the most difficult patients I deal with. Consultations take longer and seem to go around in circles, because convincing them that something positive can happen in their life is hard work. There are three main types of negative thinkers I see in my surgery:
The imaginers, who become stressed because they imagine they are always to blame for any negative reaction towards them. A cross word, a look of irritation or a phone call that does not go well is enough to start negative thoughts. What these people need to do is respond only to genuine problems. If someone is really angry with you, they will let you know. Until that time do not waste energy on worrying about what might happen. Most worries are only in our imagination and never happen.
The generalizes, who see everything they do as a constant battle against guaranteed failure in their life. I saw an artist who thought like this after he had failed to sell any of his paintings for months. Before he picked up his brush he believed no one would like them, and this showed in the quality of his work. I suggested he should paint a picture purely for himself, so he knew it could not fail in anyone else s eyes, and I was amazed at the finished result. It could have been painted by a different artist. When I persuaded him to put it in a gallery, he said, 'No one will want to buy my work,' despite the fact that many people had previously. It sold within half an hour.
The black-and-white thinkers, who are the most common

of negative thinkers. You were late for your son's birthday party, so you are the worst dad there has ever been. You had cross words with your husband at breakfast, so the marriage will be over by teatime.What such thinkers forget is that we are all human -Tiger Woods misses short putts and Formula One drivers run into the back of other cars at traffic lights. Everyone makes mistakes. The person who never does is lying to you.
I used to look after a professional snooker player who suffered dreadfully with pre-match nerves. If he got off to a bad start in a match you could see his shoulders sag, and I knew what he was thinking. Instead of forgetting about the frame he had just lost and focusing on the next, he dwelt on the previous half an hour and so began expecting to lose. This meant he did, and his negative thoughts beat him more often than his opponents. I suggested that if he lost a frame he wipe his cue down from top to bottom. This wiped away his defeat, cleared his mind and he could focus on his game. To his surprise he began to win matches again. His ability had not changed but his thinking had. Negative thinking shatters confidence and destroys performance. Whenever you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, mentally wipe them away and start again. Practise this daily and you will soon feel less stressed.
Success breeds success, and defeat generates defeat. Avoid phrases such as 'I knew I'd be no good at this,' and match each negative thought with a positive one.

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