Life is unfair
It is an unfortunate part of my job to see unhappy people sitting in front of me asking, 'Why mePThey may have just received bad news, been told a diagnosis or simply sat down and said how unhappy they are with their Hves. Sometimes this question is rhetorical and occasionally it is not - they look for an answer to questions I have no answer to. There is a view as we enter the 21st century that everything has a reason and hence a solution. If such a solution does not exist then someone must be to blame. This is a common situation in bereavement, but I see it at many other times now too. To say 'I don't know' when someone asks an unanswerable question is to invite the response 'Why not?' If someone cannot accept that life is unfair and miserable at times, through no fault of theirs, they are likely to be stressed for far longer at such times than someone who has a more phlegmatic view of life. If you are such a person, say to yourself:
What makes you different from anyone else in the world? You are designed the same, think in the same way and feel the same stresses.

.Crisis Management
Time really does help people come through the most awful events. All things pass but you need to remember many do not pass for a long time. Accept that grieving is natural, and there are no rules to it.
Are you reluctant to ask for help? It is at times of greatest stress that true friends show their worth. Lean on them and they will support you. No one is an island and you are no exception.
I have seen terrible things happen to patients in their lives, and initially every one of them felt they could not carry on. They could not understand why they, and not someone else, were suffering, and were convinced they could never recover from such unfairness. Weeks and months later, they all had. Some bounced back quickly, others needed guidance and help, but they had all taken their personal punch, rocked back and recovered. The key with each of them was to accept it was not their fault and things could only get better. This gave them the patience to allow the dust to settle and then pick up the pieces again.You can do the same thing if life turns against you — never forget that.

Unfair things are going to happen to you. Family and friends are going to die, accidents will happen and bad people will keep doing bad things.
Accept how life is, and get on with yours in the meantime. If you were to worry about what might happen to you, you would never leave your house.
Many things happen that no one is responsible for, including you.

Everyone has times when life is dreadfully unfair. Just take a deep breath and battle through. With time, even the greatest personal disasters - death, divorce and failed relationships - can be assimilated into your life.

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