96J
.Personal Development

Audit your faults
The term 'audit' is a very popular one in medicine, and one that I usually ignore completely. My dictionary tells me it means 'an official scrutiny of accounts', but it can be used to mean looking at your performance in any activity to see how well you are doing. I feel my rapport with the majority of my patients is such that they quickly tell me if I am getting it wrong, and so they act as my auditors. In the world outside my surgery, however, there is a lot to be said for being able to check your worst faults and do something about them - if you want to. It is important to know what these are, since you may actively have chosen them. Take smoking, for example. There can be few people who are not aware of how bad cigarettes are for their health, and yet smokers continue to smoke. I do everything I can to stop their habit, and explain all the facts in full, but at the end of the day it is their choice whether they smoke or not. As many tell me, 'I enjoy it, doc, so I'll keep smoking.' I have no problem with that if they know all the facts - after that it is simple free choice. This raises the essential point - you will not give up a bad habit unless you really want to.
Suppose, however, that you have some bad habits that are easier to deal with - for example, always being late for appointments or losing your temper too often. You will need to have a logical approach if you want to improve these. First, write down or remember five of your worst bad habits and deal with them in order; spend a day thinking about each one. Is there an obvious reason for any of them? Are you late simply because you do not prepare in advance? Is there one particular situation which makes you lose your temper? Your answers may be enough to enable you to improve your bad habits, or you may need to go further. If these habits are related to work, is uncertainty the cause? If you are unclear about your position or job description at work, ask. Is your temper a result of

frustration at problems at home or in a relationship? Remember that bad habits — smoking or drinking too much, being angry or resentful - are often a symptom of a deeper underlying stress. Only you can work out what these are, no one else can do it for you, and to do this you at least need to look at the problem.
Second, don't try to change everything at once, because you will fail. Work first on those problems you feel you can clear most easily. The sense of achievement you will feel as a result of this will help if you find the bigger problems tougher to deal with. Failing once does not mean you have to give the whole thing up. If that were the case I would never have gone into medicine or started my writing career. Remember your long-term goals, and do not be put off by others who tell you that you cannot do something. That is their problem, not yours.
Keep a mental diary - or a written one - of the things you would like to change in your life. This can range from the amount you smoke to the number of times you lose your temper every day. Review this once a week and bear in mind your long-term goals. Avoid short-term sticking plasters such as treating yourself to an occasional cigarette after giving up 'because you've earned it'.

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